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Archive for March, 2009

 

Just a little drawing...

Just a little drawing...

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Knowing who you are, at a high school level, was like a black art…it was frowned upon, and the thought of achieving it, was by most authority’s standards, less likely to happen that a meteor shower hitting our high school.
BUT i knew…who I was…at least I thought I did…but maybe it was my fondness of the meteor shower theory that was catchy…or perhaps it was E.T.’s glow rubbing off on me…not sure.
I remember walking out of the front doors of the school (from what my teachers liked to call after school detention- not sure what you call it when you’re innocent) and almost tripping over a homeless man sitting in the middle of the sidewalk. I’d never seen him before, he was happy, yet homeless, it was a strange combination. I stopped for a minute to search my pockets for change, while he blurted out bits and pieces of the national anthem in the best Tom Watts impersonation I’ve heard.
He held a sign that said “Money. Can’t live with it, can’t live without it.”
I thought that took a lot of guts to hold a sign like that. So I sat with him and asked him what he would do if e had all the money in the world…I kept a mental note of the things he said, and later that night wrote them down.
It’s funny how clearly you can see a solution to someone else’s problems, when most of the time we spend dodging the fact that we have our own. Things are always blurry from the inside.

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In days to follow, I became friends with E.T., she was like no one I had ever met…filled with awe of the worlds many secrets, and yet still grounded, and relatable. She asked questions, but also had the strength to listen to the answers, and always seemed to know when to say the right things. She had a purpose. I wasn’t quite sure what it was, but I would find it…because I was drawn to it.
Her purpose seemed to glow around her, like she was plugged in..it was contagious. It made me question my motives…or did I even know what that meant? Did I even have a purpose? Or was I sent here just to blend in? Time would tell.
E.T. encouraged me to say something, to have a voice, to live my life for a reason. Until now, the only reasoning my days had seen was to play my guitar for hours on end, until I felt like my uncertainty was gone. I helped me to see myself…it helped me to keep my mind off of my parents, and their inability to see eye to eye. Maybe if I wrote the right song, they would see it…whatever it was they were both looking for…but not finding.
More later…

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